Fixer Upper: Behind One Naughty Secret Lies Another

Fixer Upper: the all-human standalone spinoff

Ruthie Miller from Into the Quiet (Cupid’s Fall #2) has a secret life as a writer of steamy romance stories. Only her husband Zach knows the truth – until the day Ruthie decides to share her favorite story, “Fixer Upper,” with the handsome young contractor who’s converting the Millers’ nursery into a writer’s study for Ruthie. [That contractor, as readers of the Cupid’s Fall series know, is none other than Cupid, but Ruthie knows him as Quentin or “Q.”]

So I got to thinking, wouldn’t it be fun if you could read that story Ruthie was writing and posting under the anonymity of her screen name, “Should No Better”?

Guess what – now you can!

Now that story, Fixer Upper, is an ebook that can be yours for just 99¢

While I would have LOVED to have named Ruthie as the official author of this story, that would have opened a can of worms with the US Copyright Office and the algorithms that help readers find my books.

Hence, this completely independent standalone novella is officially authored by me and labeled “Cupid’s Fall, book 5,” even though it contains no gods or mythology whatsoever. Every character is as excruciatingly human as you and I.

While you won’t find any references to any of the characters in the series, astute readers will pick up some Easter eggs such as some of the side characters’ names that Ruthie used. Happy hunting, loyal series readers!

And of course, Henry the handyman does bear some resemblance to Cupid the handyman, which is why it was probably so gosh darn hard for Ruthie to resist ol’ Quentin. *wink*

I did take advantage of my head start

Into the Quiet includes both verbatim passages and broader brush strokes of Ruthie’s “Fixer Upper,” and I made full use of that treasure map (oh, wait till you get to the pirates!) I’d left myself.

Here are the opening lines of Fixer Upper that Cupid reads aloud when Ruthie hands him the story:

Thea should have turned tail and run from the dilapidated house, but there was something about the ramshackle exterior that drew her in.

“Needs a little TLC,” the real estate agent had said.

Maybe Thea did, too.

And this is the passage where Ruthie debates whether she should edit out the sexy parts before sharing the story with Quentin:

It had been almost two years since Ruth had written Fixer Upper, before she’d learned the perils of dialogue tags and nuances of narrative voice, but she still genuinely liked this story—probably because she loved the Henry she’d created so much.

Fixer Upper weighed in at fifteen thousand words, one of her heftier stories. Ruth knew exactly where to find the racier passages — both inside her characters’ imaginations and after, when all erotic hell broke loose around the three-quarters mark — and she searched and destroyed without mercy. Where the chunks removed were too large to easily substitute with something tame, Ruth simply dropped in an ellipsis and left Quentin to fill in the blanks.

After the most egregious scenes were sanitized, Ruth searched for incriminating mentions of body parts, any and all conjugations of “fuck,” and overly dramatic gazes, kisses, or touches. She couldn’t help tinkering a bit with the phrasing, but she didn’t allow herself to go overboard with nitpicks. Once she’d finished all her edits and saved the file under a new name, “FU4Q,” she reread the whole story from the beginning.

It was . . . awful. And it barely resembled her story. The exercise had proven what Ruth had always hoped: the sex scenes were not gratuitous but integral to the story. Take away the graphic bits, and you lost Henry’s sheer joy in expressing himself physically, the unhurried tenderness in every touch, and the way his sense of humor bridged the awkwardness of their first time. Without that, he was a watered-down, one-dimensional cliché. Is that how she wanted Quentin to experience her writing?

Screw it. Before her better judgment could overrule her brash decision, Ruth printed out the original, unabridged story, punched holes, and snapped the pages inside a bright red binder. She floated upstairs with all the wild anticipation of hitting the “Post” button — for an audience of one this time.

Getting inside my characters’ brains

Yes, I had that initial guidance, but I had a boatload of questions that needed to be answered, too.

• What motivates Thea and Henry?
• What scares them?
• Where do their moral compasses aim?
• What is the worst possible thing that could happen to them?
• Which relationships and event(s) in their past made them who they are?
• What is the hardest decision they would have to make?
• What qualities in a companion character will pair with them in a most explosive way?

I can’t introduce my characters to you until I know every cell in their body, even if I don’t share all of those little details with you in an obvious way. Incidentally, when I read a story written by a very skillful author, I take a certain delight in recognizing how they reveal bits of their characters.

But how do I learn these answers?

Not by sitting down with a “character bible” as some writers do, nor can I pull them out of thin air. I plant myself inside their brains, then intensely watch and listen as they encounter challenging situations, people, memories, moral dilemmas. They march through their world, and I record everything like some relentless paparazza. I don’t always understand or even like my characters’ choices, but I try to watch without judgment and let them teach me — initially.

And this is why outlining largely fails me. Honestly, I don’t know my characters or my story until I write it. Or, I should say, until the characters and I write it.

What if they lead me astray?

That’s when I get to ask myself the tough questions:

• Did I know them as well as I thought?
• Is their storyline better than what I might have had in mind?
• Should I follow this path further and let go of my previous assumptions?
• Should we rewind and try a different route?

This process often requires a full draft and many, many revisions. It’s also my favorite part of writing: discovering what I did not know I knew about them, about the world, about myself.

Inside Thea’s brain

As I pondered why Thea would require a handyman’s services, I immediately saw her bathtub come crashing through the dining room ceiling below. What I didn’t know then was just how important Thea’s bathtub was to her — and why. Welp.

Even if you haven’t read Into the Quiet, you now know about Ruthie’s handyman fantasy. Younger man/ older woman. Power tools. Muscles. Fixing things. Yum.

As it turns out Thea, much like her creator (Ruthie), has an intriguing sexual fantasy . . . Thea Delaney, shy, curvy, recently divorced sixth-grade teacher, has a serious thing for pirates. Yo, ho, ho and rub-a-dub dub!

Wow! What a fun discovery for me! The romcom nearly wrote itself after that.

Here’s a snippet of Thea’s pirate fantasy:

[She’s become Hally, a stoway hidden under one of the pirate’s cots]

Her heart rate picks up as Captain Spike’s bluster and footsteps become louder. “I’ll find you, you little thief, and you’ll wish you’d never set your sorry eyes on me or my ship. I’ll make an example of you in front of my whole crew!” She knows it’s true. The man’s cruelty is legendary.

The boots storm right up to the edge of the cot and stop. Hally’s heart pounds so loud, she’s sure he can hear it. Captain Archer Spike crouches down and looks her dead in the eye. Her bones shiver with fear—and something else. Even stooped over, he is impressive in his elegant, black waistcoat. His long, dark hair is braided and tied off in a bow beneath his tricorne hat. His handsome face is weathered and cross.

“I’m s-s-sorry, sir. Please don’t—”

He smiles, but there is no kindness in it. He is merciless. “A lass, is it?”

He dips his head lower and leans in closer to look her over. His breath is heavy with tobacco and rum. “Don’t be thinking yer skirts will get ye off easy!”

He drags her by her hair out of her hiding place, forces her at sword’s tip to the main deck, and lashes her to the mainsail. With the entire crew gathered to watch, he slashes her blouse open to the sea air and all the hungry eyes.

She begs for mercy; she’ll do anything. She can cook, she can clean. Her begging makes him crazed with lust. “Ye’ll do more than that, lass!” He slices her free of the ropes, throws her over his shoulder like a sack of flour, and carries her to his quarters.

And then I made this silly Fixer Upper trailer

Okay, I might have gotten a wee bit carried away one night when this popular sea shanty lodged itself inside my head. I’m gonna go ahead and say Tiktok made me do it. Take your pick of platforms – but don’t blame me when the song gets stuck in your head. A more persistent ear worm I have not found.

Inside Henry’s brain

Early on, I decided to tell this story from both characters’ points of view. This allowed me to invite you inside Henry’s head with me, which, as I hope you’ll agree, is a very lovely place to hang out. Mostly.

Here’s a glimpse of Henry’s mindset just before he meets Thea:

Beside him on the couch, Henry’s phone buzzed. He grinned around his mouthful of pizza, lowered the TV volume, and tapped the speaker on his phone screen.

“No, she hasn’t grabbed my ass yet,” Henry said. “You owe me ten bucks.”

“Damn.” Henry couldn’t tell if his brother was more disappointed about losing ten dollars or that Henry hadn’t been fondled. “I really thought today would be the day.”

“Sorry, man. Wanna go double or nothing on tomorrow?” Surely, he could fend off Beatrice’s advances one more day.

Tyler’s laughter poured from the phone. “Okay, but you’re not allowed to stand against the wall all day. You’ve gotta give her some access.”

Henry’s snort caused him to hack up a bite of pepperoni. “Dude, you do not know this lady. If I don’t keep my guard up, she’ll have me pinned to the floor with her tongue down my throat.”

“Poor, tragically adorable Henry,” said Tyler with a dramatic sigh. “You always did turn the heads of Mom’s bridge ladies.”

Tyler was right. There was something about Henry that was like catnip to older women. 

Henry can’t help it if he’s the cougar whisperer, but he is so much more than the hot handyman. Henry’s emotions run deep; he has the soul of an artist.

In this scene, Henry is at brunch with his brother Tyler and Tyler’s girlfriend Jackie:

“Hey, is that paint I see on your thumb?” Jackie asked.

Henry followed her gaze to the telltale smudge of goldenrod paint. “So it is.”

Jackie brightened. “You’re painting again!”

“I am.”

Tyler leaned in. “Really?”

“Really.”
 
Henry didn’t feel the need to clarify that he’d been working on a two-by-three-foot oil painting of the cover of Thea’s pirate book. He had no idea what he would do with the painting once it was finished, but he loved losing himself inside the challenge of recreating the textures and colors. He’d worked on the gown for hours yesterday. With every brush stroke, Henry imagined Thea inside that dress, quivering for her pirate king. It was making him crazy.

“Does this mean there’s a woman in your life?” Jackie was not one to hold back, which is why she and Tyler worked so well. It was also why Henry had wanted her here today.

Letting out a tense breath, Henry said, “Sort of.” Somehow, this conversation had been much easier inside Henry’s head.

Tyler looked even more confused. “Wait. Is this about your new cougar? The divorcee?”

“Christ, Ty. She’s not my—her name is Thea, okay?”

Jackie gave Tyler a shove. “You didn’t tell me Henry was dating someone.”

“Doesn’t sound like he is,” Tyler replied.

“I’m not,” said Henry.

“See?”

Maybe you can’t see the frustration in Henry’s expression from the faceless cover, but trust me — the man is ready to blow!

Can we please talk about the cover?

While the main books of the CF series are whimsical and (hopefully) funny, the spinoff is pure romcom – hence, the lighter, more playful cartoonish cover. You’ll notice an absence of facial features (as opposed to the careful attention to eyebrows and lips in books 1-4.

And then Betti paid me the ultimate compliment — she read the whole story. Even better, she gifted me a bonus image, as she sometimes does when she’s feeling inspired. Here’s the passage along with Betti’s rendering:

So . . . are YOU ready for Fixer Upper?

Or head over to the Fixer Upper page for more of the scoop.

As always, I love hearing your thoughts. Feel free to comment below or shoot me an email.

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