Cupid has landed!
Truth be told, Cupid landed on Tuesday, Jan. 26th – miraculously – as planned. If you’re a subscriber to my blog, you might have already seen a certain book cover a few (hundred) times by now. Sorry (?) but that’s just me, keeping my promise to everyone who ever asked me that fateful question: “When can I buy this book of yours?” I would have responded: “I promise you, [insert your name here], when my book is available for purchase, I will shout it from the rooftops!”
It is time for shouting: You can buy my book now!
I have some other things to say about this, but you’re probably distracted now, wondering where you can get your hands on a copy. So let’s get that out of the way:
EBOOK: $4.99 | EVERY E-BOOK OPTION ON THE PLANET
PRINT: Paperback: $14.99 / Hardcover $25.99
AMAZON | BARNES & NOBLE | YOUR LOCAL INDIE BOOKSELLER | OUTSIDE THE U.S.
The wildly empowering decision to publish
I will never say self-publishing was my first choice. Not gonna lie, I wanted an agent. I wanted a professional partner with all the industry know-how, the power and connections of a traditional publishing house behind me, the legitimacy of a publishing contract. And heck yeah, a book advance!
But I’d made myself a promise, way back when I started in 2014. I would continue to query book one while I wrote the next three in the series. If I still didn’t have an agent by the time I finished the last book (#4), I would set the self-publishing engine down the track. When the inevitable happened, and the moment of truth was upon me, I thought I might feel crushed. But that’s not what happened.
Somewhere along the way, I started to believe there were readers out there who would enjoy my story, whether or not there was someone willing to take a chance on helping me make that happen. With the world upside-down and everyone’s future unknown, it didn’t feel so scary anymore to be the one taking hold of my own dream. I had SO much to learn, but learning is its own energy, and I was hungry for it.
Nothing has empowered me like my determination to put this story out into the world on my own terms.
7 years of rejections
Seven years ago, I finished my first draft of this book (then called Quiver). I hired a “manuscript consultant,” someone experienced in both writing and critique. I sat with that advice until I could really absorb it, and then I produced a much improved second draft. At that point, I began querying agents.
I pitched at conferences, I researched agency websites and twitter hashtags and the back matter of my favorite books. I followed every lead (and thanks if you offered one). Many of these agents were kind and encouraging. Some agents asked for a full manuscript (a good sign), but in the end found my story was not-a-good-fit/ too-far-outside-the-box. Bottom line, no one was interested in representing me.
Meanwhile, as I wrote books 2 and 3, I was still tweaking book 1. Still learning, seeking critical feedback, revising. Fighting to hold onto my conviction in the series as the rejections kept flowing in. I have to say, there were times it wasn’t easy.
And then Jeffrey died.
My 26-year-old son had started working on his own book project around the same time, also far afield of his educational path. In August of 2017, Jeffrey was struggling with the ending of his dystopian fantasy, Isotopia. We spent an intense couple of days discussing all the possible ways his story might end. Three weeks later, we lost him.
Six months after Jeffrey’s death, I put the finishing touches on his story and published his story. Of all the work he left unfinished in this world, that was one piece I could shepherd through for him. While I did my best to remain true to what I understood to be his wishes, the story will forever be different from what Jeffrey would have written. We’ll never know exactly what that might have been.
When I finally found my way back to my stories, I knew I could not let them die a lonely death inside my computer simply because nobody wanted to take a chance on me. So I took a chance on myself.
Time to call my own bluff.
In March of 2020, as the pandemic bore down on the U.S., I completed the fourth – and final – book of the Cupid’s Fall series. I sent out one last round of queries, and I waited. At the end of August, when the last outstanding query expired in a resounding silence, I called my own bluff.
I threw myself a teeny, tiny pity party. Then I reminded myself that not fitting in someone else’s pre-fab box did not mean that my story wasn’t worth telling and sharing. So I closed that excel spreadsheet with all its carefully ordered and notated rejections and stepped forward onto the “indie publishing” path.
A couple years back at an indie writer conference, I attended a session called “Self-publishing is not a fall-back plan.” What I learned in that session was truly eye-opening. Yes, I will make (more) mistakes. Yes, I’m missing out on all the experience of a traditional publisher. That said, and no sour grapes here, there are some real advantages to going indie.
The advantages of indie
First, and most wonderful, an indie author can publish a book whenever the heck she wants. If I’d signed with an agent in August of 2020, BEST CASE scenario, I might’ve released my book some time in late 2022. No thank you, please. This pandemic has created a huge void in the entertainment industry. I want my books out there now!
Second, an indie author can (and must) choose her own team. That means I get to work with my eagle-eyed editor, Susan Atlas, whom I trust and who knows how and when to challenge me. That means I get to choose the amazingly talented Betti Gefecht to create my covers and make the process a pure joy. And that means I get to title my own books and approve my own covers and write my own endings… Ahhh. For better or worse, I own it.
Third, there is a very cool community of indie authors out here supporting each other, and that is truly a beautiful thing. Experts who freely give of their time to create YouTubes and resource pages. Other authors who openly share their mistakes and experiences.
Finally, an indie author makes her own decisions about branding, future releases, marketing, distribution, and on and on. Which means I don’t need to worry about my publisher (me) canceling my contract for the rest of the series if book one’s sales are disappointing! And by the way, being traditionally published doesn’t mean you’re exempt from creating your “author platform,” especially when you’re a nobody debut author like myself. I’m following all the rainbows even though some of them don’t end in a pot of gold… because the next one just might.
Mascots & other encouragement
This publishing road can be hard and lonely. I’m most fortunate to have lots of loving support and encouragement. Thought I’d share three really sweet examples …
The sleeping Cupid was a gift from my son, Jeffrey, about 5 years ago. This little guy keeps me company next to my keyboard and makes sure I don’t forget to finish telling his story.
The Cupid “mascot” doll was a handcrafted gift from my cover designer, Betti Gefecht. After a visit to Boston, Betti was inspired to hand sew this scarily anatomically correct Cupid doll. He even has his own leather-wrapped bow and handcrafted arrows in their very own customized quiver. There are other accessories inside the feather-lined box, but I’d have to raise the rating on the blog to show them to you.
The party in a box was a very sweet gift for my launch from my daughter, Lindsay, who has been a huge source of joy. I particularly enjoyed her real-time commentary on the book! There’s colored confetti sprinkled in there too – and chocolate chip cookies because no party is complete without them. Lindsay never fails to celebrate the moment!
Of course, not all support can be seen and touched. I tried to express my sincere gratitude in the book’s acknowledgments pages, but I’ll never be able to truly, properly thank every person who encouraged this endeavor. Please know that I appreciate you all.
Time for the baby to leave the nest
There is nothing quite like that feeling of holding your book in your own two hands. You are intimately involved with every word, every comma and space. You mourn the words you cut, the plot twists you took a different direction. You remember the places you and your laptop went during the writing. You remember all the people who were in your head while you wrote the story, and will now forever be a part of it.
You’ve turned the manuscript over and over and run it through the harsh edit mill again and again. You find a new mistake every time, and you honestly believe it will never feel FINISHED… until it does!
And while it does feel great to hold my own book, the whole dang point was for other people to read it. So off you go, Cupid! Into the magical distribution channels, from Boston to Canada to Australia and Japan! One language, fifteen currencies. It’s truly astounding, especially when you stop and think of all those people who said you couldn’t do it.
And how you can’t wait to prove them all wrong.
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