I can’t seem to resist a microfiction contest! There’s something about the challenge of writing a whole story in just 100 words that really appeals to the storyteller in me. Then, throw in the 24-hour time limit and add 59 other writers to the group, and there’s a contest I cannot resist! But at the end of day, what draws me back each time is the very high quality critique from other writers and judges.
I’ve blogged previously about the thrill of participating in flash fiction contests. My favorite offerings come from the folks at NYC Midnight. The NYCM contests were so named because the participants receive the story prompts (a genre, an action, and a word that must be used in the story) on Friday at midnight (New York City time). We then have 24 or 48 hours to submit a story. While this operation started out as a screenwriting contest, they have now expanded into flash fiction (1000-word stories), short story (2500 words), and microfiction (100 words) – possibly my favorite.
Critique comes from three sources
Probably my favorite aspect of the NYCM contests is the writers’ forum. After submitting our stories, we are able to post them to a forum visible only to the other participants. It’s always fun to read what others in your group have created with the same prompts, and there’s a chance to offer critique to each other. As with the writing, the critiques vary in quality, but I have found some of my favorite critique partners through this process.
Which brings me to the biggest benefit – before I submit my contest piece, I’ve already vetted it with at least three peers. The contest folks not only condone this, they encourage it. Best of all, I can actually see how my stories get better and better with each round of edits.
Once stories are submitted, they are judged by professional editors hired by the hosting contest. Each story receives comments from 3 judges, including both what they liked about the story and what they believe could make the story better. The top 1/4 of each group of 60-ish writers moves forward to the next round. Typically, there are three rounds, though the 1000-word flash consists of two “heats” for round one, so your entry fee will buy you two different story critique opportunities.
Sharing my pre- and post-critique versions
I thought it might be fun to share my most recent 100-word microfiction – both the submitted version (which earned me a spot in round two) and the rewrite I produced (for practice) based on judges’ feedback. I welcome your feedback on either version. And while you’re here, feel free to give micro a try with my prompts:
Genre: SUSPENSE/THRILLER Action: TURNING OFF AN OVEN Word to be used: “HIDE”
AS SUBMITTED:
LUCKIEST MAN ALIVE
On Richard O’Toole’s forty-third birthday, his wife made cupcakes for breakfast.
“Life is uncertain,” joked Lynette, turning off the oven.
“I don’t deserve you, Netta.”
“Don’t I know it.”
He scowled at the silly hat. “Must I?”
“Yes. Hand me your phone.”
“Why?”
“For your children, dear.”
“Fine.” He opened the camera to hide his text messages. “Here.”
“Make a wish!” Netta snapped his picture.
“No frosting for you?” He licked his fingers.
“Nope. You get double this year.”
“I’m the luckiest man alive.”
She slid Richard his phone. Brittney’s nude selfie stared up at him.
“Yeah, you really were.”
JUDGES’ FEEDBACK
WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY
This is a tight, tense story. Clever use of dialogue and actions tell a different story underneath the surface. Nicely done!
The story opens with a sure-footed and entertaining narrative voice that will allow readers to comfortably settle in to listen to a skilled storyteller. Further, the story’s structure is excellently paced with succinct and vivid details selected; for example, how Richard scowls at the silly hat and later licks his fingers says volumes about him and does so in few words.
It’s quite compelling to read this dialogue-driven piece that captures the characters’ tone and additionally provides necessary information, such as when Netta says, “For your children, dear.” The plot development is engaging.
OH boy. Busted in the act. And on his birthday, too. I think the story has a good narrative arc and I like how it is mainly told through dialogue.
The story is lively and holds my attention to the end.
WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK
Did Netta do anything to the cupcakes? Did she know about Richard’s infidelity? Or did she just find out when she took his picture? Give us a little bit more to let us know. Just pare down a few words here and there to make room for a final reveal.
On the one hand, the final line is good and presents a clever dialogue line; on the other hand, this moment does not feel stunning or surprising. The shock occurs in the penultimate line. One potential revision approach might be to include an unexpected behavior in either character, but it alternately might impart an emotionally evocative reaction to Richard’s obviously being caught. One example for illustration purposes is, maybe he feels the remnants of the icing drying on his fingers, making the skin there tighten and crack, thus becoming a representative metaphor for the tight space he’s gotten himself into and the way he’s broken his life.
We get the idea that something is up about halfway through the story, but for a suspense story, I would get that out as close to the beginning as you can so that you can build up the tension of him getting caught throughout the story. Also, I want to get more of an idea if his wife knows or if she only discovers his affair when she gets the phone.
REWRITE AFTER CRITIQUE:
LUCKIEST MAN ALIVE
On Richard O’Toole’s forty-third birthday, his wife made cupcakes for breakfast.
“I don’t deserve you, Netta.”
“Oh, I know,” joked Lynette, turning off the oven.
He scowled at the silly hat. “Must I?”
“Yep. Your phone, please.”
“Mine?”
“Honestly! Hiding something?” She smirked.
“Yeah right.” He opened the camera to hide his text messages.
“Smile!” Netta snapped his picture.
“This frosting’s delicious!” Richard licked his fingers.
“New recipe. Like it?”
“Yes. Not having any?”
“Nope, all for you,” Netta said.
“I’m the luckiest man alive.”
“Yeah.” She turned Richard’s phone – and Brittney’s nude selfie – toward him. “You really were.”
What do you think?
Do you think the judges were right?
Is the second version an improvement?
What other critique would you offer me? I love learning! Remember though – I’m stuck with those prompts (at least for now!).
Thanks for reading and playing along!
*
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Ruthie Miller from Into the Quiet(Cupid’s Fall #2) has a secret life as a writer of steamy romance stories. Only her husband Zach knows the truth – until the day Ruthie decides to share her favorite story, “Fixer Upper,” with the handsome young contractor who’s converting the Millers’ nursery into a writer’s study for Ruthie. [That contractor, as readers of the Cupid’s Fall series know, is none other than Cupid, but Ruthie knows him as Quentin or “Q.”]
So I got to thinking, wouldn’t it be fun if you could read that story Ruthie was writing and posting under the anonymity of her screen name, “Should No Better”?
Guess what – now you can!
Now that story, Fixer Upper, is an ebook that can be yours for just 99¢
While I would have LOVED to have named Ruthie as the official author of this story, that would have opened a can of worms with the US Copyright Office and the algorithms that help readers find my books.
Hence, this completely independent standalone novella is officially authored by me and labeled “Cupid’s Fall, book 5,” even though it contains no gods or mythology whatsoever. Every character is as excruciatingly human as you and I.
While you won’t find any references to any of the characters in the series, astute readers will pick up some Easter eggs such as some of the side characters’ names that Ruthie used. Happy hunting, loyal series readers!
And of course, Henry the handyman does bear some resemblance to Cupid the handyman, which is why it was probably so gosh darn hard for Ruthie to resist ol’ Quentin. *wink*
I did take advantage of my head start
Into the Quiet includes both verbatim passages and broader brush strokes of Ruthie’s “Fixer Upper,” and I made full use of that treasure map (oh, wait till you get to the pirates!) I’d left myself.
Here are the opening lines of Fixer Upper that Cupid reads aloud when Ruthie hands him the story:
Thea should have turned tail and run from the dilapidated house, but there was something about the ramshackle exterior that drew her in.
“Needs a little TLC,” the real estate agent had said.
Maybe Thea did, too.
And this is the passage where Ruthie debates whether she should edit out the sexy parts before sharing the story with Quentin:
It had been almost two years since Ruth had written Fixer Upper, before she’d learned the perils of dialogue tags and nuances of narrative voice, but she still genuinely liked this story—probably because she loved the Henry she’d created so much.
Fixer Upper weighed in at fifteen thousand words, one of her heftier stories. Ruth knew exactly where to find the racier passages — both inside her characters’ imaginations and after, when all erotic hell broke loose around the three-quarters mark — and she searched and destroyed without mercy. Where the chunks removed were too large to easily substitute with something tame, Ruth simply dropped in an ellipsis and left Quentin to fill in the blanks.
After the most egregious scenes were sanitized, Ruth searched for incriminating mentions of body parts, any and all conjugations of “fuck,” and overly dramatic gazes, kisses, or touches. She couldn’t help tinkering a bit with the phrasing, but she didn’t allow herself to go overboard with nitpicks. Once she’d finished all her edits and saved the file under a new name, “FU4Q,” she reread the whole story from the beginning.
It was . . . awful. And it barely resembled her story. The exercise had proven what Ruth had always hoped: the sex scenes were not gratuitous but integral to the story. Take away the graphic bits, and you lost Henry’s sheer joy in expressing himself physically, the unhurried tenderness in every touch, and the way his sense of humor bridged the awkwardness of their first time. Without that, he was a watered-down, one-dimensional cliché. Is that how she wanted Quentin to experience her writing?
Screw it. Before her better judgment could overrule her brash decision, Ruth printed out the original, unabridged story, punched holes, and snapped the pages inside a bright red binder. She floated upstairs with all the wild anticipation of hitting the “Post” button — for an audience of one this time.
Getting inside my characters’ brains
Yes, I had that initial guidance, but I had a boatload of questions that needed to be answered, too.
What motivates Thea and Henry?
What scares them?
Where do their moral compasses aim?
What is the worst possible thing that could happen to them?
Which relationships and event(s) in their past made them who they are?
What is the hardest decision they would have to make?
What qualities in a companion character will pair with them in a most explosive way?
I can’t introduce my characters to you until I know every cell in their body, even if I don’t share all of those little details with you in an obvious way. Incidentally, when I read a story written by a very skillful author, I take a certain delight in recognizing how they reveal bits of their characters.
But how do I learn these answers?
Not by sitting down with a “character bible” as some writers do, nor can I pull them out of thin air. I plant myself inside their brains, then intensely watch and listen as they encounter challenging situations, people, memories, moral dilemmas. They march through their world, and I record everything like some relentless paparazza. I don’t always understand or even like my characters’ choices, but I try to watch without judgment and let them teach me — initially.
And this is why outlining largely fails me. Honestly, I don’t know my characters or my story until I write it. Or, I should say, until the characters and I write it.
What if they lead me astray?
That’s when I get to ask myself the tough questions:
Did I know them as well as I thought?
Is their storyline better than what I might have had in mind?
Should I follow this path further and let go of my previous assumptions?
Should we rewind and try a different route?
This process often requires a full draft and many, many revisions. It’s also my favorite part of writing: discovering what I did not know I knew about them, about the world, about myself.
Inside Thea’s brain
As I pondered why Thea would require a handyman’s services, I immediately saw her bathtub come crashing through the dining room ceiling below. What I didn’t know then was just how important Thea’s bathtub was to her — and why. Welp.
Even if you haven’t read Into the Quiet, you now know about Ruthie’s handyman fantasy. Younger man/ older woman. Power tools. Muscles. Fixing things. Yum.
As it turns out Thea, much like her creator (Ruthie), has an intriguing sexual fantasy . . . Thea Delaney, shy, curvy, recently divorced sixth-grade teacher, has a serious thing for pirates. Yo, ho, ho and rub-a-dub dub!
Wow! What a fun discovery for me! The romcom nearly wrote itself after that.
Here’s a snippet of Thea’s pirate fantasy:
[She’s become Hally, a stoway hidden under one of the pirate’s cots]
Her heart rate picks up as Captain Spike’s bluster and footsteps become louder. “I’ll find you, you little thief, and you’ll wish you’d never set your sorry eyes on me or my ship. I’ll make an example of you in front of my whole crew!” She knows it’s true. The man’s cruelty is legendary.
The boots storm right up to the edge of the cot and stop. Hally’s heart pounds so loud, she’s sure he can hear it. Captain Archer Spike crouches down and looks her dead in the eye. Her bones shiver with fear—and something else. Even stooped over, he is impressive in his elegant, black waistcoat. His long, dark hair is braided and tied off in a bow beneath his tricorne hat. His handsome face is weathered and cross.
“I’m s-s-sorry, sir. Please don’t—”
He smiles, but there is no kindness in it. He is merciless. “A lass, is it?”
He dips his head lower and leans in closer to look her over. His breath is heavy with tobacco and rum. “Don’t be thinking yer skirts will get ye off easy!”
He drags her by her hair out of her hiding place, forces her at sword’s tip to the main deck, and lashes her to the mainsail. With the entire crew gathered to watch, he slashes her blouse open to the sea air and all the hungry eyes.
She begs for mercy; she’ll do anything. She can cook, she can clean. Her begging makes him crazed with lust. “Ye’ll do more than that, lass!” He slices her free of the ropes, throws her over his shoulder like a sack of flour, and carries her to his quarters.
And then I made this silly Fixer Upper trailer
Okay, I might have gotten a wee bit carried away one night when this popular sea shanty lodged itself inside my head. I’m gonna go ahead and say Tiktok made me do it. Take your pick of platforms – but don’t blame me when the song gets stuck in your head. A more persistent ear worm I have not found.
Early on, I decided to tell this story from both characters’ points of view. This allowed me to invite you inside Henry’s head with me, which, as I hope you’ll agree, is a very lovely place to hang out. Mostly.
Here’s a glimpse of Henry’s mindset just before he meets Thea:
Beside him on the couch, Henry’s phone buzzed. He grinned around his mouthful of pizza, lowered the TV volume, and tapped the speaker on his phone screen.
“No, she hasn’t grabbed my ass yet,” Henry said. “You owe me ten bucks.”
“Damn.” Henry couldn’t tell if his brother was more disappointed about losing ten dollars or that Henry hadn’t been fondled. “I really thought today would be the day.”
“Sorry, man. Wanna go double or nothing on tomorrow?” Surely, he could fend off Beatrice’s advances one more day.
Tyler’s laughter poured from the phone. “Okay, but you’re not allowed to stand against the wall all day. You’ve gotta give her some access.”
Henry’s snort caused him to hack up a bite of pepperoni. “Dude, you do not know this lady. If I don’t keep my guard up, she’ll have me pinned to the floor with her tongue down my throat.”
“Poor, tragically adorable Henry,” said Tyler with a dramatic sigh. “You always did turn the heads of Mom’s bridge ladies.”
Tyler was right. There was something about Henry that was like catnip to older women.
Henry can’t help it if he’s the cougar whisperer, but he is so much more than the hot handyman. Henry’s emotions run deep; he has the soul of an artist.
In this scene, Henry is at brunch with his brother Tyler and Tyler’s girlfriend Jackie:
“Hey, is that paint I see on your thumb?” Jackie asked.
Henry followed her gaze to the telltale smudge of goldenrod paint. “So it is.”
Jackie brightened. “You’re painting again!”
“I am.”
Tyler leaned in. “Really?”
“Really.”
Henry didn’t feel the need to clarify that he’d been working on a two-by-three-foot oil painting of the cover of Thea’s pirate book. He had no idea what he would do with the painting once it was finished, but he loved losing himself inside the challenge of recreating the textures and colors. He’d worked on the gown for hours yesterday. With every brush stroke, Henry imagined Thea inside that dress, quivering for her pirate king. It was making him crazy.
“Does this mean there’s a woman in your life?” Jackie was not one to hold back, which is why she and Tyler worked so well. It was also why Henry had wanted her here today.
Letting out a tense breath, Henry said, “Sort of.” Somehow, this conversation had been much easier inside Henry’s head.
Tyler looked even more confused. “Wait. Is this about your new cougar? The divorcee?”
“Christ, Ty. She’s not my—her name is Thea, okay?”
Jackie gave Tyler a shove. “You didn’t tell me Henry was dating someone.”
“Doesn’t sound like he is,” Tyler replied.
“I’m not,” said Henry.
“See?”
Maybe you can’t see the frustration in Henry’s expression from the faceless cover, but trust me — the man is ready to blow!
Can we please talk about the cover?
While the main books of the CF series are whimsical and (hopefully) funny, the spinoff is pure romcom – hence, the lighter, more playful cartoonish cover. You’ll notice an absence of facial features (as opposed to the careful attention to eyebrows and lips in books 1-4.
One critical factor that stayed the same is my cover artist! The enormously talented Betti Gefecht – musician, artist, writer, translator of fiction, lover, mother, wife, and dear friend of mine – quickly agreed to draw up the curvy heroine and the muscled handyman.
To start her creative juices flowing, I sent her these two images that expressed my initial vision. After reading a few chapters, Betti molded these concept drawings into perfection- as usual!
And then Betti paid me the ultimate compliment — she read the whole story. Even better, she gifted me a bonus image, as she sometimes does when she’s feeling inspired. Here’s the passage along with Betti’s rendering:
“Mind if I have a look upstairs?” Henry asked, pointing at the gaping hole over his head.
“Of course.”
Thea took the lead again, her gaze traveling up the staircase through Henry’s eyes. As they rounded the landing, Thea’s thoughts spooled ahead to her bedroom.
Did I make the bed? She’d been a bit distracted by the fact that her house was falling apart.
If she hadn’t remembered to make her bed, she also wouldn’t have straightened up the nightstand, and ohmygod! Thea sped up, but there was no way she could hide it now.
Yep, thar she blows! Right out in the open, on top of the latest chick-fic from the library and one of the books she’d be teaching her sixth graders this fall, in plain view for all to see: Plundered By the Pirate King.
As always, I love hearing your thoughts. Feel free to comment below or shoot me an email.
*
P.S. – Did you know you can receive blog updates straight to your inbox? Yup! Just enter your email address in the box just below and hit “subscribe.” This is a no-spam zone!
(Not to be confused with my NEWSLETTER, which is all the current book stuff, sneak peeks, special deals, etc. And you can sign up for my newsletter by clicking on the big open heart at the bottom of this page.)
The Quest for Psyche, book #4 of the series, is Cupid’s final test from the gods. And his very last chance for Right Love.
Every book release is exhilarating in its own way, but this release makes my Cupid’s Fall series officially complete. When you get to “THE END” on the last page, you’ll know everything I know about these characters. No more author secrets up my sleeve!
Okay, where were we?
In case you missed the end of book three (spoiler alert), we left our romantic hero teetering on the edge of heartbreak and depression. Not very nice of me, I know. Believe me, it was no picnic for me either. I hate making my characters suffer – but it had to be done.
Book four opens with Q still down here with us mortals, so we know he will be tested once again. What we readers know – but the God of Love doesn’t – is that Aphrodite’s conscience has forced her to give Cupid one last chance to find Right Love. This time, she will push Cupid toward the one soul in the cosmos whose heart will beat back. If he plays his cards right, IF he figures out how to cross the Liminal Point with his Worthy . . . well, our hero might just get that happily ever after!
Don’t start celebrating yet…
However, if you’ve been paying attention to the rules of echo beats, you are aware that two echo beats doth not a crossing maketh. Winning over his new Worthy won’t be easy for poor Q. The gods have already agreed – one of the very few points agreed upon by Hephaestus, Ares, and Aphrodite – that Cupid needs to really work for this in order to fully appreciate the bountiful gift of Right Love. And work he shall!
First, Cupid’s Worthy is not nearby as the first three were. He’ll have to venture well out of his heart’s range and make himself vulnerable.
Second, Cupid’s Worthy is very likely to drive a wedge between mother and son, a fact Aphrodite knows all too well. You can bet she will not take this lying down!
Third, this is it. Last chance, last dance. Now or never. And as Cupid well knows, eternity is a long damn time to go without love.
And finally, Cupid’s Worthy has closed herself off to love and seems immune to Cupid’s charms. He’s going to have to win her over the old-fashioned way. Let’s just say it’s bound to be a challenge!
Sigh. This is “THE END.”
It is said that once a story is published, it belongs to the readers. Hold our story gently, dear reader.
I hope the series has delighted and surprised you, made you laugh, made you fall in love, made you at least believe in the possibility.
If the ending makes your chest feel a little tight, I hope it’s also warm and tingly. I hope the final scene will make you feel as if you are right there inside it with the characters. I hope the story leaves you with a vivid and comforting vision that you may return to from time to time. (I’ll meet you there.)
I hope you will come along for whatever story happens next – not that I have a clue what that might be.
And I hope you’ll send me a note and tell me if any of this comes true.
Head over to the The Quest for Psyche page to read an excerpt, check out what reviewers have to say, and preview the Book Group Discussion Guide. Can this book can be read as a standalone? Yes, but. You’ll enjoy it more if you’ve read the first three. Trust me.
That said, I includede a synopsis of books 1-3 at the beginning of the ebook. Please note, this synopsis ONLY appears in the ebook.
As always, I love hearing your thoughts. Feel free to comment below or shoot me an email.
*
P.S. – Did you know you can receive blog updates straight to your inbox? Yup! Just enter your email address in the box just below and hit “subscribe.” This is a no-spam zone!
(Not to be confused with my NEWSLETTER, which is all the current book stuff, sneak peeks, special deals, etc. And you can sign up for my newsletter by clicking on the big open heart at the bottom of this page.)
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